The Work-Life Balance Trust

An independant charity, with no political affiliations

GETTING PERSONAL

A 12 STEP, GIRL'S GUIDE TO PERSONAL WORK-LIFE BALANCE

1. Be realistic. A woman can have it all, but probably not all at once.
2. Dump the motherguilt. Remember you are dumping it to protect your psychological health, your partnership - if you have one - and any children.
3. A woman needs to make sure that she isn't a closet Queen of the Hearth, who intends to keep domestic power to herself (You don't need a pair of breasts to take a child to the dentist). One parent mothers need to remember that no man - however wonderful - can replace a child's father, so help your child to see as much as possible of his father - and have a bit more time to yourself
4. Keep a bit healthier than you are at the moment. Any higher aim is unrealistic.
5. Never buy a handbag that isn't A4 size.
6. Plan on paper. Keep a diary and plan your weekend and evenings as carefully as you do your weekdays. Use an index card to plan your day, with not more than 3 things to do and 3 telephone calls to make. If you add something, cross something else off. Use lists, and cross off items with a joined up central vertical line rather than a tick. List everything that needs doing and delegate all except 5 major items. Separate housework from responsibility for children, which is a separate job.
7. Don't take on too much. If you do, get out of it firmly. Just say no. Keep saying no.
8. Keep tough. Don't be delegated to. Just say clearly and politely, and in good time, that you can't do it. Leave it undone.
9. Plan for domestic democracy. This is no problem before you have children, which is the time to make it a habit.
10. Plan a crisis routine for taking on your partner's chores in an emergency. Make sure that you have just as many emergencies.
11. If you feel constantly tired, openly take a day off away from home to rethink your goals. Go away alone, except for your notepad.
12. My gran told me that you can't get a quart out of a pint pot, and this is the key to self-management. Things haven't changed. To get through life you need a fast, adaptable sense of priorities - to achieve your particular work-life balance.